the beginning....

Okay okay, here we go, the first blog post of my life. Ellen and I have decided to blog our wedding plans and adventures this coming year. We are going to alternate writing a blog post each week. That should make it humorous, or at least I hope it will. This post will be our story from my point of view. I'm not going to give every detail just the important stuff. Well, where to start? I guess at the beginning, huh? 

"A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY".....just kidding. Moving to Florida in 05', I never expected to be where I'm at today. To be engaged. To have the job I have. To have the church family I have. To have my sins forgiven. To...well you get the picture. None of the plans that I had back then have worked out. Looking at my life, you could say it has been a huge disaster, and in a way it has been. 
The world says "you are the master of your fate, the Captain of your soul", well, I just don't believe that. I thought I was the Captain for awhile. I thought I had the course of direction. The compass bearings were set, but winds and storms were blowing me off course. I found myself shipwrecked and lost without anywhere to go. No matter how hard I tried to pick myself up, I would fall back down. I said, "I can do this, I just need to try harder", but the harder I tried, the harder I fell. Finally, after all my strength was gone, I realized something. I don't have the strength. I don't have the direction. I can't be a captain or a master. I need somebody to take control, someone who knows what they are doing. I need someone who can guide me through the storms, who can lead me safely through the night.

I grew up in church, but always thought of Christianity as being something you did. Something you had control of. Something you could choose to be. But then I realized...I couldn't do it...I couldn't be the master of my fate. I couldn't be the captain. CHRIST is the Master! CHRIST is the one who leads! The One who guides. I surrendered myself to Christ and suddenly I had a new beginning. So, I guess this story has two beginnings, here's the second...

Now for a new beginning. It's funny how things seem lost and out of control and then suddenly new again. I can see now- See with new eyes and a new heart. I quickly start growing and changing. I find a church where I belong. I find people there that help me mature. God is working every situation for good. He's teaching me wisdom and truth. He's teaching me how to love- Love the way He loves. I make friends that will last a lifetime. Friends that care. And then I meet a girl. And oh what a girl she is. After being friends for quite sometime, I ask her out. It's weird, but from that very first date, I knew I wanted to be with her. I knew that God had His hands in this. He was once again leading me down a new path. And then, a test. Ellen had brain surgery in 08' and had a tumor removed. God graciously brought her through that. But then during a routine MRI, the doctors said the tumor had come back. They said it was the same size as the previous tumor. They would need to do another surgery. We had only been dating for a month.

I remember after she told me, I immediately prayed. I didn't want her to go through this. I prayed that God would take it away. I even prayed for God to give it to me because she had already been through this. I could see her strength and faith in coming weeks and how she trusted God. She was scared but she knew God was in control.

I would drop her off at night and then drive home. I would get really emotional on the way and would just pray that God would take the tumor away. Well... two weeks before the surgery the doctors were reviewing her MRI scans and realized that they were looking at old scans from 2008. Scans before her surgery. Ellen didn't have a tumor.

Was this a Miracle? I don't know, but my prayers were answered and Ellen wouldn't have to suffer. This was quite a test for a new relationship but God was building a foundation- A foundation that could last a life time.  A couple weeks ago, I asked Ellen to be my wife. She is, no doubt, the girl of my dreams, the girl I have been waiting for.

One of my favorite bible verses is: "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." Proverbs 19:21. This verse reminds me that God is in control that He is the One guiding and directing. God is the Master of my fate and the Captain of my Soul. He is the One holding the compass and leading me in the right direction. So what's next in this saga? Well, I don't know, but whatever it is God has it under control.